


You're My Aesthetic

by whenineternal



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, M/M, Nude Modeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-14 14:50:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11785413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenineternal/pseuds/whenineternal
Summary: Doyoung doesn't believe in love at first sight, but he can't deny the way his heart skips a beat when he first lays eyes on Jaehyun, the new nude model for his art class.





	You're My Aesthetic

Silky, black hair. That’s the first thing Doyoung notices. The second is the deep indentations in his cheeks and the way his eyes crinkles at the corners when he smiles. Third, the top of a defined chest, visible in the slip of the robe he is wearing. The fourth thing he notices about the new model is a pair of smooth, hairless calves, as skinny as a chicken’s legs yet still so very pretty.  
“Do you think you can draw him from memory now?” a voice asks beside him. It’s Yuta, finally in his seat, and Doyoung throws an arm out and slaps his bicep with the back of his hand, not sparing him a single look.  
“Like how you drew Taeyong in your sleep?” he says as he unpacks his kit, eyes still locked on the pretty, new model. Yuta snorts and leans around his easel to see the model properly, whistling quietly after giving him a once-over.  
“I’d fuck him,” he proclaims, but makes no further comment. Doyoung smirks as he recognises a diversion when he sees one, but he leaves him be. Taeyong has become a somewhat sore topic in the last few days, though Doyoung still doesn’t know why that is.  
Their professor calls for quiet before he can pester Yuta with any questions, quickly introducing the new model before ushering him into place on the podium in the middle of the room.  
Doyoung chews on his bottom lip as he writes the name in the bottom corner of his cartridge paper. _Jaehyun_.  
  
They have been doing figure drawing for a while, working with three different models, but Doyoung still feels a bit odd putting the image of a naked stranger onto paper. Their first model had been tall, gangly thin and somewhat sallow-looking, the second had been a woman, curvaceous and objectively beautiful, and then there is Jaehyun. Doyoung has no idea how to look at Jaehyun without being affected by him. Even focusing on his face, putting down every detail of his soft features, has his heart pounding in his chest.  
He won’t deny he is attracted to Jaehyun, but he should be able to put it aside and focus on his lines and shadowing along the curve of Jaehyun’s back because it’s his assignment and not because he wants to run his hands over his skin.   
It will be easy, Yuta had told him. When you're drawing, it's a model, not a naked person. Maybe Yuta has a more relaxed relationship with naked strangers than Doyoung, or maybe it is Doyoung's unfamiliarity with drawing lifelike figures that make him awkward. Whatever it is, Doyoung doesn't think he'll ever find it normal. But Jaehyun, he likes drawing Jaehyun. The muscles flexing in his back as he sits leant forward, knees pulled up to his chest. His arms, defined but not bulging with muscle, wrapped loosely around his legs. His fingers, his toes, the arch of his feet and his skinny ankles. The roundness of his butt.   
Every detail transferred from Doyoung's eyes to the paper, of Jaehyun's face turned towards him, eyes closed and mouth slightly open almost as if he is asleep. The vision he makes is ingrained in his mind's eye, so even when the hour is up and Jaehyun unfolds from his position, slowly pulling his robe back onto his naked body, Doyoung continues to draw.   
  
A delicate cough pulls him out of his Jaehyun-induced trance and Doyoung almost turns to sneer at Yuta only to remember that nothing Yuta does is ever delicate. He turns to his right instead to find his object of fascination standing right beside him. He is fiddling with his robe, almost pulling it open, and Doyoung can't be blamed for taking a peek.   
"You were the only one still drawing, I got curious," Jaehyun says and Doyoung gapes at him like a fish out of water. Yuta's loud, undignified snort from his other side punches him out of his stupor and Doyoung laughs a little and rubs black-smudged fingers over his nape.   
"I guess you're inspiring," he says, as if Jaehyun hasn't taken over his entire mind simply by sitting still.   
"It's beautiful," Jaehyun comments, laying the tips of his fingers gently over the edge of the paper.   
"Too beautiful," he laughs self-consciously, something Doyoung was not expecting from someone so seemingly comfortable in his own skin.   
"It's just how I see you," he says matter-of-factly, fiddling with his 9H pencil. Jaehyun's ears turn bright red and he moves one hand to his mouth, biting on a finger. Doyoung thinks it's a subconscious move. It's adorable.   
"Flirting with the nude model, how classy," Yuta says, loudly. Doyoung does turn to sneer at him this time, prompting Yuta to sneer back, making it into a battle of sneers growing progressively more silly. It is over in a matter of seconds and Doyoung turns back to Jaehyun with a winning smile.   
"Don't mind him, he needs to get laid," he says and counts it as a victory when Jaehyun laughs. 

“I don’t mind,” Jaehyun says, smiling sweetly and Doyoung blinks slowly at him until Jaehyun adds with an embarrassed laugh, “if you flirt with me I mean.”

He looks over his shoulder at something then and when he turns back to Doyoung there is a regretful smile painting his face.

“I got to go,” he says, lips pursing in a slight pout, “it was nice to meet you …”

Doyoung smiles and waves his hand a little, feeling awkward as Jaehyun stands there for a few seconds more, staring expectantly at him. He nods then, looking a tiny bit dejected, and waves a pretty hand at Doyoung before walking away. He has just rounded the doorway and disappeared from Doyoung’s sight when realisation hits him.

“Doyoung, my name is Doyoung,” he says with a wry smile, head dropping between his shoulders with a groaned “fuck.”

Yuta pats him consolingly on the shoulder, humming at him in pity.

“You’re pathetic,” he says and hits Doyoung in the side with his messenger bag as he walks past.

 

_“Talk to him next time, make normal conversation. Don’t go all anxious bunny on him.”_

Doyoung replays Yuta’s words in his mind as he walks the hallway to his art classroom. He feels a tiny bit of righteous disgruntlement at being called an anxious bunny, but he doesn’t let it stop him from taking Yuta’s advice. Yuta is mostly right about things after all. Well, sometimes. Yuta is right one time.

And Doyoung sorely wishes this is that one time.

He fucked up last time, which Yuta has taken great joy in telling him, and all their other friends because Yuta can’t keep a secret to save his life, but this time he has a plan.

He is extra early for class, because Jaehyun had been early the previous week, and he wants to catch him before he changes out of his clothes. He knows from experience that Jaehyun out of his clothes is a brain-scrambler.

“Jaehyun!” he calls out far too loudly when he sees him at the end of the hall, hand on the doorknob to Doyoung’s classroom. While he jogs up to Jaehyun he looks him over, appreciating how the skinny jeans and overlarge hoodie looks on him.

“Hi,” he pants when he stops in front of the other man, he really needs to do some exercising, he thinks. He refuses to accept that Jaehyun is the reason for his shortness of breath.

“Hey … No-name,” Jaehyun says wryly and Doyoung winces at the acerbic tone of his voice.

“It’s Doyoung,” he says finally and Jaehyun tilts his head back slightly with a quiet ah, looking far over Doyoung’s shoulder at something.

“Would have been nice to know that last week,” he says and Doyoung winces again as he realises that despite not knowing a thing about each other he has already managed to hurt Jaehyun. He jots down _overtly sensitive question mark_ on his mental list of things about Jaehyun.

Clearing his throat, Doyoung opens and closes his mouth, searching for the right words to say to make it right and that would ensure he hasn’t entirely screwed up his chances of getting to know Jaehyun.

“Can I take it from the stupid look on your face that you didn’t _mean_ to completely reject me last week?” he asks, voice intonating upwards and Doyoung jots down another point in his mental list, _optimistic cutie_. And _possible potty mouth_.

Doyoung shakes his head quickly and then he nods and Jaehyun’s eyes widen in confusion.

“Yes, no I totally didn’t mean to do that,” Doyoung clarifies and simultaneously their shoulders drop in relief.

“I have two settings; I either say too much or I say entirely not enough and I can’t always control which of them takes the reins,” Doyoung laughs at his own words, a little awkward but mostly self-deprecating.

“I’m awkward and don’t always pick up on social cues, and I’m apparently very childish,” Jaehyun says and Doyoung almost chokes when he tries to contain a burst of laughter.

“What? I thought we were listing reasons why we’re both currently single,” Jaehyun says, completely straight faced, and Doyoung quiets as he doesn’t quite know how to react. Jaehyun laughs a second later and Doyoung laughs with him after a moment, relieved that the atmosphere stops being awkward with Jaehyun’s loud laughter.

“I have to go change,” Jaehyun says, pointing over his shoulder. He looks around them at the still empty hallway and takes a step closer, lowering his voice.

“I hope you put in as much attention to detail today as you did last time. I’m curious how you’ll make my dick look,” he hurries through the door with a giggle then, leaving Doyoung flushing red in the hallway.

 

Jaehyun may has well have been a fortune reader because Doyoung does spend an inordinate amount of time getting his cock just right. It’s right there, nothing to obstruct his view of it, and it is the only part of Jaehyun he had yet to see. Jaehyun is sitting on a stool this time, legs a little spread with his toes gripping the foot rest and his hands resting against his thigh and gripping his left bicep respectively. His head is tilted at enough of an angle that the muscles in his neck strains a little and he has chosen to fix his eyes on Doyoung’s face. That last detail is not entirely appreciated.

To avoid the piercing look, Doyoung stops drawing after his sloping, absolutely flawless neck.

He sneaks a look at Yuta and envies the focused look in his eyes and the concentrated furrow in his brow as his eyes fly from Jaehyun to his drawing and back while his hands move with precision, not trembling the slightest.

 _Silky hair, pale (bruiseable) skin, voice like warm honey, childish smile, confident and comfortable with his own body, no prude, overtly sensitive question mark, optimistic cutie, possible potty mouth_ and the most recent addition to his list, _shaved fucking all over!_ Doyoung longs for the kind of professional detachment that Yuta has, but it is just not happening. Not with Jaehyun’s cock hanging between his legs, so attention-grabbing and enticing. Doyoung wants to draw it to perfection. He also kind of wants it.

As it is, he can only settle for engraining the image of it in his mind, and the size and shape of it in the movement of his hand.

 

He is packing up his equipment when Jaehyun appears at his side in the same manner as the previous week.

“I see my face is no longer your favourite feature,” he comments lightly, with a self-satisfied quirk to his mouth. Yuta snorts laughter beside them and Doyoung vows to put salt in his coffee the next morning.

“Well, see you next week,” Jaehyun says with a wave and Doyoung fumbles at the abrupt exit, calling his name before Jaehyun has crossed to the door. Jaehyun turns on his heel so fast he almost knocks into another student and walks quickly back to Doyoung.

“Would you have coffee with me?” Doyoung asks, thankful his voice comes out calm and, most of all, casual. He thinks Jaehyun’s obvious awkwardness helps take the edge off his own awkwardness.

“Well, that depends,” Jaehyun starts, tilting his head and pursing his lips. “Are you going to be able to say my coffee order?”

Yuta bursts out laughing properly at that, slapping his thigh, and Doyoung decides that no coffee is a worse punishment than salted coffee.

“Do you … have time now?” he asks with a small clearing of the throat. Jaehyun shakes his head regretfully.

“Can’t, I have another gig in like an hour,” he says and Doyoung nods in acceptance, very curious about what this other _gig_ could be.

“Tomorrow?” Jaehyun asks, wringing his fingers in front of him. Doyoung nods happily and Jaehyun’s face lights up in a smile.

“Two o’clock? Campus coffee shop?” Jaehyun asks and Doyoung does a quick sweep of his mental planner to make sure he is free at that time.

“Two o’clock,” he confirms and with an awkward move-pause-move wave goodbye, Jaehyun leaves.

His blissful silence lasts only a handful of seconds.

“Dude,” Yuta says, “dude, you got a date!” He says it as if it’s the biggest surprise of his life so Doyoung slaps him up the back of his head and steals his bottle of iced tea when he leaves.

 

He ambushes Taeyong at exactly one o’clock the next day, outside his Victorian Lit. classroom. The petite man is looking unusually rumpled and Doyoung is reminded that he hasn’t seen him in almost two weeks. Since when did he let Yuta’s “it’s complicated” relationship status keep him from one of his best friends?

In an attempt to make it up to Taeyong, he takes the abnormally heavy textbook from his arms and wraps an arm around his shoulders as he leads him a little down the hall. Taeyong curls gratefully into him, happy for a little physical contact.

“Uhum,” he clears his throat once they are alone and Taeyong blinks up at him, tired but attentive.

“How do I go on a date with someone I’ve already seen naked?” he asks in one breath and then he waits while Taeyong stares at him unblinkingly, presumably in shock.

“Jaehyun, the nude model,” he clarifies and Taeyong makes a noise of recognition at the name he has only gotten to know over text. His face relaxes and he looks less like Doyoung has sprouted a second head while confessing his undying love for his ass.

“Why? Is the thought that I may have had a one night stand _that_ surprising?” he huffs and makes to put his hands in his hips, almost dropping the heavy book he is holding.

“No, of course not,” Taeyong assuages him, but Doyoung doesn’t buy it. That is exactly what it was, Taeyong is just too nice to ever admit it.

“Whatever, I have a date with Jaehyun in an hour, I don’t have time for this. What do I do?” he stresses the last bit, stomping his feet lightly in an anxious dance. Yuta calls it his _anxiety dance_ and sadly it has stuck.

“Talk to him, get to know him, don’t try to be someone you’re not, apologise if you get overbearing and let him know what a sweet, wonderful person you are,” Taeyong lists off with a warm, parental smile.

“Yeah, I don’t know if I should be offended or not,” Doyoung gripes to hide the fact that his lips are trying to form a smile. Taeyong is an expert at making people feel good about themselves.

“Just … try not to worry about it too much. Are you taking him for coffee?” he waits for Doyoung to nod before continuing, “buy decaf, you already look like you’ve had five cups since you woke up.”

Doyoung wonders silently to himself why he even thought about asking Yuta for advice when he should have gone straight to Taeyong.

“Thanks Taeyong, a million,” he chews on the corner of his lip as his eyes fall to the floor between them. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t quite know where to start. Does he apologise, does he pretend nothing is odd between them, that there isn’t a big small Japanese idiot shadow hanging over them? He almost regrets introducing Taeyong to Yuta, but only almost because he knows that in the end it’s meant to be the two of them. They all need to have a little patience is all.

“Do you want to hang out later?” Taeyong asks tentatively. He is looking at him so pleadingly, wide eyes glistening probably with exhaustion, but it looks like tears and Doyoung can never say no to him when he cries. Not that he wants to say no.

“I can drop by some time after six and we can watch a movie, I’ll bring take out,” Doyoung smiles widely and Taeyong smiles back and for a long moment they do nothing but smile at each other. It feels really nice to be together with his second bestfriend again.

“And then I can put my head on your lap and sleep,” Taeyong whines around a sudden yawn. He failed a class in his first year and making up for the lost credit has really been taking a toll on him, Doyoung doesn’t remember the last time Taeyong even went out. He vows then and there that he’ll resume his daily check-ups on the elder, Yuta and his stubbornness be damned.

 

He is so engaged in his book he doesn’t notice Jaehyun until he flops down in the chair opposite him at the coffee shop. Smiling up at him, he folds the corner of his page and puts the book down.

“Hi,” Jaehyun says and tilts his head to see the book cover. “What are you reading?”

“Hey,” Doyoung breathes and clears his throat, “it’s uh, George Orwell. You know him?” he asks when Jaehyun makes a sound of recognition, but a second later he shakes his head.

“No, no idea,” he laughs and looks towards the counter. “Can we order? I’m kind of thirsty, and hungry.”

Doyoung blinks at the abrupt change in subject, but smiles when Jaehyun purses his lips and squints trying to see the menu written on the blackboards behind the counter. _Tad impatient_ he jots down as he digs his wallet out.

“What do you want? My treat,” he says and Jaehyun hums long and quiet through pursed lips before looking at Doyoung with a sweet smile.

“Just an iced Americano and a chocolate muffin please,” he says and Doyoung rises to his feet. _Sweet tooth_ he makes another note to himself while he brushes his fingers over Jaehyun’s hand as he walks past.

“So how old are you?” he asks after Jaehyun has taken a large bite out of his muffin and washed it down with a sip of coffee. His drinking speed is about half of his eating speed, it’s kind of cute.

“Twenty,” Jaehyun answers, putting an elbow on the table and resting his head against his fist. Doyoung takes a moment to study him, from his hair that is so shiny and a bit fluffy as it falls over his forehead, to his dimpled cheeks and his perfectly clear skin. He really likes Jaehyun’s face.

“I’m older than you then,” he says and Jaehyun nods like he already knew that.

“What do you study?” he asks next and furrows his brow slightly when Jaehyun fumbles for words a bit too long before settling on, “journalism, I study journalism.”

He very much doubts that, but doesn’t say anything. If Jaehyun wants him to believe that he studies journalism, then so be it. Johnny would call bullshit because in his words “everyone who studies journalism knows George Orwell”. But he is sure Jaehyun has his reasons, and Doyoung is not as quick to judge as his giant of a friend.

He watches Jaehyun eat with fascination and offers to buy him another muffin when Jaehyun licks his fingers clean and pouts at his empty plate.

All in all, their first date goes well. As does their second and third back-to-back dates the following week.

 

The third, and last, life drawing lesson with Jaehyun as their model is significantly different from the previous two. At least to Doyoung.

Jaehyun is sat on a stool with his back to the class, face turned to the right and showing off his handsome profile. Doyoung relishes in his finely muscled shoulders and his sloping back, drawing inwards to his slim hips. Drawing Jaehyun is quickly becoming his favourite thing, and he has no doubt his lack of any awkward feelings is a direct consequence of three marvellous dates and a heavy make out session on a shadowed park bench.

He spends a long time only looking at how Jaehyun’s ass cheeks part a little and when the hour is up he is still not satisfied with how his drawing has turned out. He requests to take it home with him to finish before his teacher reviews it and packs it up carefully when she grants him permission to.

With Yuta lounging on the sofa, drawing in his sketchbook, Doyoung settles at the easel in the corner of the small living room and works on his drawing. He can still see Jaehyun in his head, has thought of nothing since class ended. Apart from the short minute when Jaehyun pulled him into his changing room for a surprise make out session. He is sure his hair is still messed up from Jaehyun running his fingers through it.

“Dude, that’s sexy,” a new voice says, startling the both of them. Johnny is leant over Yuta’s head at one end of the sofa, looking at his sketchbook. How he got in is a mystery, but Doyoung is fairly certain Yuta didn’t close the door properly again.

“Fuck off,” Yuta says and closes his sketchbook with a loud smack. Doyoung is sure, judging by his uncharacteristic sensitivity, Yuta was drawing Taeyong again.

“Anyone want any tea?” he mumbles and disappears into the kitchen nook. Johnny makes his way to Doyoung and ruffles his hair with a heavy hand.

“You’re fucking lucky I wasn’t drawing right now,” he grumbles and ducks away from the older man’s arm when he tries to put it around his shoulders.

“There’s so much hostility here today, I don’t feel welcomed,” Johnny pouts dramatically, furrowing his brow and looking at Doyoung out the corner of his eye. Doyoung concedes even if it is all a stupidly exaggerated act and allows Johnny to drape over his back while he works on shadowing his drawing.

“Is this the nude model you’ve been going out with?” Johnny asks after a minute of silence. Doyoung hums in confirmation and Johnny leans past him a little to look closer at his drawing.

“I’m sure I’ve seen him somewhere before,” he says and Doyoung looks up at him from over his shoulder.

“Maybe on campus? He’s a _journalism student_ ,” he says, unable to help the sarcasm lacing his tone. Jaehyun still hasn’t come clean.

“No it’s,” Johnny stops suddenly, eyes bulging as he lets out a weird choked sound. “Be right back,” he laughs and runs out of the apartment, leaving the front door wide open. He is back within a minute, face a little red from laughing, holding a magazine in one hand. He shoves the magazine in Doyoung’s face and he reels back so fast that he almost falls off his chair when he realises it’s a porn magazine.

“Fuck, get it away from me!” he shouts, but Johnny only waves it up and down in front of him, all the while laughing rather incredulously.

“Open it, page fourteen,” he says as Yuta comes up beside them, drawn there by the racket they are making. Johnny is still laughing when Doyoung tears the magazine from his hand, fuming a little as he opens it to page fourteen.

It doesn’t register at first what exactly it is he is looking at. All he sees is pale, smooth-looking skin on a finely muscled body and a pretty face relaxed in a temptingly seductive mien. Eyes lined with black, a tiny, glistening stone at the corner of each eye, bruise-red lips and dark lilac sheets augmenting his pale beauty.

Looking at Jaehyun like this is nothing like having him sit naked in front of him in class. This is a Jaehyun whose goal is to seduce, to make men hard over the thought of fucking him, and Doyoung feels a spark of anger starting to burn in his stomach. Johnny knew the exact page number, and Doyoung can’t blame him. He is sure plenty of other men know the exact page number they can find Jaehyun on his stomach, feet dangling in the air over his butt, lifted slightly from the bed for extra exposure. The strain it causes his muscles leaves his body tense all over in a very delightful way and Doyoung can’t deny being a tiny bit turned on by the display. Mostly he feels kind of sick.

“That’s your boyfriend, right?” Johnny asks, and he is still laughing and Doyoung almost wants to knock him hard enough in the chin so he bites his tongue off. At least that way he can never make his annoying parrot imitation again. Or surprise Doyoung with unwelcome news like _the guy Doyoung is dating has done porn_.

“It’s just a magazine shoot Doyoung,” Yuta says quietly and puts a hand on his shoulder. A best friend quality, Yuta tends to know him better than anyone.

“It’s one picture,” he continues, turning the page to make sure. “He sits naked in front of people studying him for an hour, this must have been nothing for him.”

Yuta means well, but he fails this time. Doyoung only feels worse, because if it was nothing to Jaehyun then that means there are more magazines with more pictures and who knows, maybe even videos. And that’s not something Doyoung wants to deal with.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” he mumbles and pushes them out of the way so he can get to the quiet solitude of his bedroom where he can think this through, uninterrupted. _Porn star dejected question mark_ he adds to his list.

 

Jaehyun sends him a video message that night, but Doyoung doesn’t open it. When he wakes the next morning, he has two unread messages, both from Jaehyun, sent at 3am.

 _I got a gig outside of the city_ is the first one and; _I’ll miss you_ is the second. It trails off into at least five punctuation marks and Doyoung winces as he can see Jaehyun’s pout in his mind. The unconscious one he makes when he is upset. It’s strange that he already knows that, but he puts it down to how easily upset Jaehyun is.

 _Text me when you get back, we need to talk_ he writes at first, but deletes it and sends a simple _text me when you get back_ instead. The words _we need to talk_ carry too much weight in a relationship and he doesn’t want to distract Jaehyun from his work, no matter what that work may be.

 

Doyoung grips the strap of his messenger bag tightly between his fingers, feet tapping against the cobblestone ground as he sits on the very edge of a bench in the quad, waiting for Jaehyun. They haven’t spoken in four days and even thinking about it every waking second, Doyoung still doesn’t know what he will do once he sees Jaehyun again. He likes Jaehyun more than should be possible in the short time they have known each other, but they are nowhere close to the point of no return. He could walk away from Jaehyun today and it would hurt, but he would get over it. It’s not like he is in love with Jaehyun. The rational part of him is not in love with Jaehyun.

A rush of air against his face draws Doyoung out of his thoughts and when he looks to his right Jaehyun is there, smiling warmly at him with his fingers resting lightly against Doyoung’s thigh.

“Hi,” he breathes and swoops in for a quick kiss, catching Doyoung off guard. He wants to drag Jaehyun down the street to the tiny park behind campus and push him up against the tree where they had their first kiss. He wants to pull him into a hug and tell him how good it is to see him again. He wants to throw away the magazine burning in his bag and pretend like Jaehyun might not be doing porn on the side. Because Jaehyun looks beautiful with his inky black hair falling into his eyes, in his tight jeans and baby blue sweater, and Doyoung wants to keep him. Instead of doing all that, because he is ruled by his mind and not his heart, Doyoung says; “we need to talk,” and watches as Jaehyun’s lips form an unconscious pout as his eyelids flutter rapidly.

“Okay,” Jaehyun mumbles, hiding his fingers in his sleeves and putting his hands in his lap, curling into himself like a wounded animal.

“Let’s go inside,” Doyoung says and gestures at the coffee shop behind them. Jaehyun nods and follows him silently to a table in the far corner of the room. Doyoung regrets telling Jaehyun to meet him here and not at the bar on the other side of campus as he could go for a drink to help him through this.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush here,” Doyoung says and looks around them, discreetly pulling the magazine out of his bag and showing it to Jaehyun. He has it wrapped inside one of Yuta’s gossip magazines and Jaehyun frowns at it, blinking confusedly at him when he tells him to open it.

He watches Jaehyun’s face as he flips the pages with a frown on his face, knows when he realises what Doyoung is showing him as his face pales and his cheek trembles until he bites his lips together and closes the magazine with a firm smack of the pages.

“We need to talk about this,” Doyoung says, but Jaehyun interrupts him quickly.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” he says, voice trembling as he looks anywhere but at Doyoung. He looks scared almost, and Doyoung reaches across the table and lays a hand over Jaehyun’s white fingers, untangling them from the surely painful hold they have on each other. 

“Is this something you do?” he asks and Jaehyun is shaking his head before he can even finish his sentence. A wave of relief washes over Doyoung.

“It was a one-time thing, and I hate it,” Jaehyun whispers, face twisting as if he might cry, but his eyes remain dry. He sits up with a sharp inhale, pulling his hands to himself and hiding them under the table.

“I needed money and I didn’t think it was a big deal, it was just going to be a couple photos at most and I didn’t think it would be that different from modelling in art classes. But it was, and I felt like shit, and I never want to do it _ever_ again.”

Jaehyun slides the magazines across the table and Doyoung packs them away, taking Jaehyun’s hands in his before he can retract them.

“How did you find that?” Jaehyun asks and Doyoung shakes his head. “It’s not important,” he says and rubs his thumbs over the back of Jaehyun’s hands.

“It’s embarrassing,” Jaehyun whispers, casting glances at Doyoung’s bag hanging from his chair.

“It’s okay,” Doyoung whispers and tugs gently on Jaehyun’s hands. Jaehyun looks up at him with a raised eyebrow and doubtful eyes and Doyoung swallows before taking a deep breath.

“No, you know what it’s not alright. I’m not okay with this, I couldn’t … if this was something you did, I couldn’t accept that. But that doesn’t make me want to leave, and it doesn’t make me think less of you. It just makes me really happy to hear you say this.”

Jaehyun smiles then, but it’s a tremulous one and it slips from his face as quickly as it appeared. Raising a hand to Jaehyun’s red face, Doyoung wipes at his blush, smiling gently at the younger.

“I don’t want you to feel embarrassed about this, not with me. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk about it with me, either. It’s a part of your history, it has helped make you into the person you are. And I quite like that guy.”

He sees the exact moment Jaehyun finally believes him. His shoulders drop and his eyelashes flutter rapidly as his cheeks slowly indent, showing off his cute dimples in a muted smile. Jaehyun pulls himself across the table and kisses Doyoung enthusiastically.

“I quite like you too,” he whispers against Doyoung’s lips with a bright smile. It feels like they have taken a step further, they’ve evolved in a way, and Doyoung feels no lingering awkwardness as he looks Jaehyun firmly in the eye and says; “since we’re being honest with each other; you’re not really a student here, are you.”

He doesn’t expect Jaehyun to crumble back in on himself the way he does, go limp in his seat like he has no more strength left to even lift his eyes. It’s not a big deal, Doyoung has already guessed Jaehyun isn’t a student at all and there is nothing wrong with that.

“I don’t care Jaehyun,” he says, tilting his head in an attempt to make eye contact.

“It’s embarrassing,” Jaehyun whispers again, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. Doyoung makes a noise of sympathy and stretches a hand across the table, leaving it open, palm up, for Jaehyun to grasp if he wants to.

“Lots of people don’t go to university or never get a degree at all, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about it,” he soothes, but Jaehyun only shakes his head. There is something chewing at him, something Jaehyun is struggling to tell him, and Doyoung can see the dread building in his eyes.

“I can’t go to university,” Jaehyun whispers and looks around them at the handful of people in the coffee shop. Doyoung opens his mouth to pry, but Jaehyun beats him to it.

“I don’t have a high school diploma.”

Doyoung blinks in silent surprise, hand falling limp on the table, still empty. He wasn’t expecting that.

“I tried, I really tried,” Jaehyun says, sounding so desperate as he leans against the table, gripping the edge tightly with his fingers.

“But I’ve never been good at school to begin with and I was really _struggling_ ,” he chokes as the words come tumbling from his mouth. “I wasn’t out and it was so … and there were other things, pointless things, and I just … I couldn’t keep up and.”

Doyoung reaches across the table and grips both of Jaehyun’s hands in his, shushing him with soothing noises and rubbing his thumbs softly over the back of his hands.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, smoothing his palms up and down Jaehyun’s forearms while Jaehyun breathes deeply to try and calm his rampaging heart.

“I’m sorry, I’ve never talked to anyone but my parents about this. I didn’t think I would have such a big reaction,” Jaehyun whispers, still not looking Doyoung in the eye.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologise,” Doyoung says, regretfully letting Jaehyun’s hands slip from his when Jaehyun sits back in his seat and gathers them in his lap.

“Do you want something to drink?” Doyoung asks, poised to push away from the table if Jaehyun says yes. Jaehyun shakes his head and hunkers down into his chest, chin dipping below the collar of his large hoodie. Doyoung leaves him to his thoughts and his silence and they sit for a long while as the sky darkens outside the quietly bustling coffee shop.

“Do you think you could do it now?” Doyoung asks tentatively when it seems like Jaehyun isn’t going to start up the conversation again.

“You could do it online,” Jaehyun looks up at him, thick eyebrows furrowed under his fringe and Doyoung reaches a hand out for him again, leaving it open on the table.

“If it’s something you want to do, I’ll help you,” he says and watches Jaehyun as he chews on his bottom lip for several seconds.

“What makes you think it would be any different this time?” he scoffs quietly, eyes falling to Doyoung’s outstretched hand.

“You said it yourself, you were struggling. You weren’t in the right place at the time Jaehyun, but I think you are now,” he wiggles his fingers a little and smiles at the younger. Jaehyun’s eyes fly from Doyoung’s hand to his face, lingering on his curved lips. He is obviously considering it.

“You really think we’ll be together long enough?” he asks and bites his lips together. Doyoung smiles wider, a quiet, happy laugh slipping from his mouth.

“I don’t see a reason why I shouldn’t think so. Do you?”

Jaehyun chews on his lips for several more seconds before a smile slowly appears on his face.

“No,” he whispers and lays his hand on top of Doyoung’s and their fingers wrap around each other in a warm hold.

“I’ll think about it, okay?” he says and Doyoung squeezes his fingers.

“I still need to work,” he mumbles with a laugh, “got to have food in my belly, and a roof over my head!” Doyoung laughs along with him and comments on how his first priority is always food, but then his laugh quietens and his face grows serious again.

“What about your parents?” he asks. Jaehyun hasn’t told him much about them apart from how supportive they were when he came out.

“They’re in a constant state of disappointment, but they always want to help, asking if I need money or if I want to come home, but … I felt like I had to be able to take care of myself with what I had, you know?”

Doyoung hums in understanding and smiles fondly when Jaehyun leans over the table for a kiss.

“So, dinner? We can go to that pizza place you told me about,” Doyoung says. He figures Jaehyun could need a distraction from everything.

“Actually, how about we go back to my place? I’ll cook!” Doyoung watches him fondly for several seconds, a smile a constant fixture on his face at the apparent relief Jaehyun is exuding.

“I’d love that,” he says and Jaehyun’s cheeks indent, showing off his deep dimples as his whole face lights up.

 

They do the dishes together, Jaehyun cleans and Doyoung dries, and Jaehyun whines and Doyoung laughs against his neck as he presses kisses into his warm skin.

“You’re terrible,” Jaehyun grumbles light-heartedly. Doyoung smiles and brushes a damp hand through Jaehyun’s hair, tilting his head to lay kisses up his neck and behind his ear.

“I have a question,” Doyoung murmurs into Jaehyun’s ear, “do you ever walk around naked?” Jaehyun snorts a laugh and flicks suds from the sink at Doyoung.

“Yes I do,” he quips and laughs at the smouldering look Doyoung gives him. Doyoung laughs as well after a few seconds and goes back to drying the dishes Jaehyun has washed. Once the dishes are all back in their place, they move the small distance from the kitchen nook to the living area. Doyoung drops into the brown leather armchair, an old and worn one that Jaehyun had gotten at a second-hand shop, and Jaehyun follows him, settling into his lap with his legs thrown over the tall armrest.

Doyoung looks at him for a long while, stroking his fingers through his hair, and Jaehyun relishes in still having this despite everything Doyoung knows about him now.

“I want to draw you,” Doyoung whispers, fingers drawing firm circles into Jaehyun’s thigh. Jaehyun hums drowsily and blinks several times as he breathes in deep through his nose.

“Where do you want me?” he asks as he clambers from the chair and Doyoung’s lap.

“On the loveseat,” Doyoung says and Jaehyun leans down to kiss him quickly before he turns his back to him and starts undressing. He can hear Doyoung riffling through his bag in the background and then there are hands at his waist, pulling his t-shirt up his chest and over his head. Doyoung reaches around him then and pops the button on his jeans, pulling them over his ass before stepping back and leaving the rest to him.

“I like undressing you, I’ve done it a lot in my mind,” Doyoung says, serious though there is a hint of a laugh in his voice. Jaehyun kicks his trousers and briefs under the table and walks confidently to the loveseat, stretching out on it with one knee raised, leaving his body exposed for Doyoung to feast his eyes on. Doyoung settles back in the armchair with his sketchbook and a pencil in his hands, opening it to an empty page. They’re quiet while he draws, eyes flicking over Jaehyun’s body and to his drawing as he etches Jaehyun’s likeness onto the page.

It feels so different, posing only for Doyoung, and Jaehyun’s ears burn as his cock starts to fill out between his thighs. He knows the instant Doyoung notices as the scratching of his pencil stops abruptly and then there is the sound of a page turning and it starts again.

Jaehyun’s cock is unfairly pretty, skinny and not all that long and as pale as the rest of him, and a ball of nervous excitement settles in Doyoung’s throat when he notices it starting to harden. He has wanted that cock pretty much since he first saw it, but the desire is so much stronger now that he also wants all that Jaehyun has to offer, both in and out of bed.

He traces its outline on the paper, laying between two skinny thighs, perfectly visible with no curly hairs to obstruct his view. Doyoung has never thought about shaving, but he kind of likes how it looks on Jaehyun.

“Are you drawing my cock?” Jaehyun asks after another minute and Doyoung’s eyes fly from his crotch to his face with the look of a deer caught in the headlights.

“It’s a pretty cock,” he says, gathering himself quickly and smiling lecherously at Jaehyun. Jaehyun laughs and shimmies his hips a little. Doyoung scoffs and smacks his sketchbook closed, throwing it on the coffee table.

“No, don’t stop,” Jaehyun whines, scrambling from the couch to prance around the table to drop into Doyoung’s lap again, pressing his naked body close to Doyoung’s as he cups his face and draws him into a kiss. The kiss is deep, wet lips moving slowly together and tongues tangling inside their mouths and Doyoung wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s waist and moans as the younger fists his hair tightly. Jaehyun pulls back and Doyoung follows his line of sight to the double bed in the corner of the room.

“Are you sure?” Doyoung whispers and Jaehyun kisses him again.

“I’m sure,” he laughs quietly and they move slowly from the armchair to the edge of Jaehyun’s tall bed. They work together on ridding Doyoung of his clothes, Jaehyun sitting down on the mattress as he pops the button and lowers the zipper of Doyoung’s striped cotton slacks.

“You know, you always wearing really loose pants has me imagining a very big dick hiding in them,” Jaehyun says before he cups Doyoung’s cock through the open flap in his trousers.

“Hm, it’s not bad,” he says and Doyoung pushes him onto the bed with a scoff. Jaehyun scoots back to rest his head on a pillow and Doyoung crawls after him once his last item of clothing drops to the floor, straddling his hips and tilting Jaehyun’s head back to leave his throat exposed. Doyoung bites kisses up and down Jaehyun’s throat, sucking the skin between his teeth on several occasions to leave behind tiny red marks.

“What do you want?” he murmurs against Jaehyun’s cheek, his breath a little laboured as he grinds on top of Jaehyun, rubbing their quickly hardening cocks together.

“I don’t care,” Jaehyun gasps, gripping Doyoung’s hips tightly between his fingers. “I just want you.” He tilts his head back and forth looking for Doyoung’s mouth and moans loudly once he finds it, wrapping his arms around Doyoung’s back and pulling him flush against him. Doyoung slips a hand between them and grips Jaehyun’s cock, jerking it a couple times while he sucks on Jaehyun’s tongue.

“Well, I’ve been kind of obsessing over this for weeks so I really want to know how it feels like,” he murmurs with a laugh and Jaehyun moans and bites down on Doyoung’s bottom lip. It’s quick work to find the lube in the nightstand, but Jaehyun is forced to leave the bed for the box of condoms he bought the week before. By the time he comes back, Doyoung has lubed up his own fingers and is rubbing the pad of one between his ass cheeks.

“You don’t want help?” Jaehyun pouts as he crawls back on the bed and Doyoung smiles and guides him with one hand to lay back down in his previous position.

“You can watch,” he says and Jaehyun shimmies down the bed between Doyoung’s knees and rests his head on a pillow and his hands on Doyoung’s thighs. It doesn’t take long, Doyoung is clearly experienced in the process, but by the time Doyoung pulls his fingers free Jaehyun is painfully hard from the arousing picture he makes. He hurries to pull a condom over his cock and Doyoung covers it with lube before moving a little further up the bed to align himself with Jaehyun’s cock.

He sinks down slowly, taking it an inch at a time and pulling off a little again before he settles fully in Jaehyun’s lap. It’s been so long since Jaehyun has had another person in his bed and the multitude of sensations, both physical and emotional, are almost too much to take. Doyoung leans down and presses a chain of kisses along Jaehyun’s jaw and up the side of his face. He presses their mouths together for several short, deep kisses and then he swallows Jaehyun’s moan as he lifts from his lap an inch, slowly starting up a rhythm.

Doyoung tangles their fingers together and pushes their hands into the pillow on either side of Jaehyun’s head as he rolls his hips and moves up and down on Jaehyun’s cock. There are words swimming around Jaehyun’s head, three words he is burning to say to Doyoung. It’s the first time he thinks that about Doyoung so he keeps them to himself, but he knows the feeling is there, blossoming inside him.

“You feel so good Jaehyun,” Doyoung breathes against his mouth and Jaehyun slips his tongue out to swipe over Doyoung’s wet lips, moaning as Doyoung tightens around him. Doyoung continues to move and Jaehyun sets his feet into the mattress for purchase as he rolls his hips up to meet him. He pulls a hand free from Doyoung’s tight grip and wraps his fingers around Doyoung’s cock, stroking him in time with the movement of their hips.

Jaehyun comes with Doyoung’s name on his lips and a loud moan as his cock ejaculates inside the condom, Doyoung’s walls clenching around him. Doyoung follows him only seconds later, throwing his head back and moaning at the ceiling as he comes over Jaehyun’s hand and his stomach.

 

They lay in silence together, bodies cleaned and smelling of soap and the sheets a soft mess around them. Jaehyun lays on his stomach in the crook of Doyoung’s arm, sleepily rubbing his cheek over Doyoung’s bicep.

“Can you stay the night?” he whispers and Doyoung hums in the affirmative, the backs of his fingers brushing softly over Jaehyun’s naked back.

“Do you have a spare toothbrush for me?” he whispers back with a smile. Jaehyun hums half asleep and throws an arm over Doyoung’s waist.

“It’s been waiting for you since we met,” he mumbles and presses a kiss against the soft skin on the underside of Doyoung’s arm.


End file.
